Unforgiveness showed up at breakfast this morning, sticking out like an unwelcome guest at our table.
In a family of six, he comes often. Sometimes, he comes with me. As a Mom with ideas about how things should go in this place, with kids whose ideas often differ from mine–I’m learning to forgive, truly and fully and often. {Emphasis on learning.}
It’s not easy to forgive and let go of offenses. Especially when we know they’re going to do it again.
This morning, Unforgiveness came because it can be hard to share a bedroom with a brother. I told the kids to clean their rooms before coming to breakfast. But you can imagine how two different people move at totally different speeds before 8 AM.
One stayed up too late reading and wanted to stay in bed. The other had been awake a while and was hungry for breakfast. He took care of most of the room while begging his brother to help. But while he did more than his fair share, frustration turned to anger, and he let his brother have it.
When he finally took a breath, I said some words about forgiveness.
He assured me I didn’t understand the situation. This isn’t at all about forgiveness, Mom. It’s about what HE KEEPS ON DOING. It’s about how I’M DOING ALL THE WORK.
You want me to forgive him?
What kind of place is this?
He didn’t say that last part, but you could almost see it working its way out of him.
I know this feeling all too well. I’ve been in his shoes, so many times.
I’ve let someone have it, because I had taken just about more than I could stand and this is enough, I’ve said.
I’ve said it to him, to the kid who sat there eating his eggs and letting us know, in no uncertain terms, he’d had enough.
I’ve also been the one in need of forgiveness, for a long list of reasons.
As followers of Jesus, we’ve been forgiven, infinitely and completely.
As that truth sinks in deeper, we become more quick to forgive. We grow in forgiveness as it becomes more natural, although it’s not always easy.
Inside these walls, within our families, this is where we work it out. This is where we learn to forgive so that instead of carrying around our anger, we carry around love. Instead of irritation, we learn to let love cover over a multitude of offenses.
Opportunities abound inside these walls. Am I right Moms? And Dads and sons and daughters?
Opportunities to forgive abound, because of all of us. Also, opportunities to love abound.
May we be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave each one of us.
May we follow God’s example, therefore, as dearly loved children, and walk in the way of love, just as Christ loved us and gave Himself up for us…
{Taken from Ephesians 4:32-5:2}