Angela Parlin

So Much Beauty in All This Chaos

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What Do You Really Want?

November 19, 2012 By: Angela Parlin

Again the next day John was standing with two of his disciples, and he looked at Jesus as He walked along, and said, “Look! There is the Lamb of God!” The two disciples heard him say this, and they followed Him. But Jesus turned, and as He saw them following Him, He said to them,

“What are you looking for?” [“And what is it you wish?”]

And they answered Him, “Rabbi”—which translated is Teacher—“Where are you staying?” He said to them, “Come and see.” So they went and saw where He was staying, and they remained with Him that day.   John 1:36-39, AMP

What are you looking for? What do you want?

One afternoon, I listened to an author tell Oprah about a time she answered a similar question. I was a new Mom, twice in just over a year. Home with two boys, adjusting to this life of taking care of others ALL THE TIME. The woman said she lived her monotonous, predictable life unhappy, unfulfilled. And so she began filling journals late into the nights, with the answer to this:

What do you really, really, really want?

The question led her to leave her life, eat and pray, before she found true love and knew it was the very thing she wanted. She encouraged viewers to sit, as many times as needed, to answer this question.

Surrounded by diapers and paci’s, scattered trucks and blocks, the question attracted me. It was fun to be asked what I wanted, even if it was only me doing the asking. I still have the journal where I answered it a few times when I slipped out for a hot tea at Starbucks. But this question took me a different direction~where I put pen to paper about what was most important in my one and only life.

What I really, really, really wanted MOST—had everything to do with Jesus. It’s not that my selfishness had died, or that I didn’t still want a beach house right then. But in thinking about this question, I knew how empty I’d feel if life was all about me and what I wanted instead of focused on the One who gave me life.

In those early days as a Mama, as I spent more time reading God’s Word and getting to know His heart, I began to understand for myself why His word says “In Him was life” and why people who followed Him on earth always seemed to run off, find friends and family, and bring them to Jesus so they could have that life, too.

What I really, really, really want is to live a life of love that makes people want to know Jesus, and for everyone I know to grab hold of the full and abundant life He gives. Thank you, Oprah for this defining moment. 🙂

So, what do YOU really, really, really want?

Lord Jesus, Help us to love nothing and no one more than You…

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As You Are

October 25, 2012 By: Angela Parlin

He sat with us at our kitchen table, the way I sat by him in Biology class,

At cold, black tables where we learned about cells and dissected frogs.

15 years but a whole lotta life since then,

Roads taken, choices made, losses grieved~and we learn not all roads lead back to Home.

He said, “I really don’t know what I believe about God anymore.”

I knew.

His life said that to me before he did.

I remembered the way Jesus looked at people in Matthew 9~

When he saw the crowds, he had compassion on them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd.

Compassion.

Did this boy-turned-man see compassion in followers of Christ, did he see it in me?

He sat there in my kitchen, and all I could think was, God, help us…help him! Jesus, open his eyes…You’re going to have to get past too much though…decades of pain, life-defining rejection, years of piled-up sin, addiction, confusion…How will you get past all of that?

How would Jesus get past all of that? Earlier this week, I read this story in John 5. Jesus came to a pool in Jerusalem where disabled people would sit in order to be healed. The locals there believed that an angel came and stirred the water from time to time, and then the first person into the pool would be healed of their disease or disability.

Here a great number of disabled people used to lie—the blind, the lame, the paralyzed. One who was there had been an invalid for thirty-eight years. When Jesus saw him lying there and learned that he had been in this condition for a long time, he asked him, “Do you want to get well?” “Sir,” the invalid replied, “I have no one to help me into the pool when the water is stirred. While I am trying to get in, someone else goes down ahead of me.” Then Jesus said to him, “Get up! Pick up your mat and walk.” At once the man was cured; he picked up his mat and walked. John 5:3-9 (NIV)

For SO LONG, this man needed to be healed. But someone else always got in before him. And then Jesus came and reached out with His words. He spoke and the man was healed. The man already had something to hope in–the pool of healing, but it wasn’t the pool that came through for him. It was Jesus.

Maybe you’re not an invalid, as I am not, but don’t we all live like we’re paralyzed on the inside sometimes? This week, I felt like Jesus was asking me, Do you want to get well? And telling me, Get up! Pick up your (mat) and (walk). He gave me different words to fill in the blanks with. What words would He put in those blanks for you?

I ran into this song in the early 90’s, and it has helped me through a lot of hard, defining moments in my life. I would replay it time and again when needed. My way of coming just as I was. Do you see yourself in any of these words?

“The Robe” by Wes King

Anyone whose heart is cold and lonely

Anyone who can’t believe

Anyone whose hands are worn and empty,

Come as you are.

Anyone whose feet are tired of walking

And even lost their will to run

There is a place of rest for your aching soul,

Come as you are.

 

For the robe is of God

That will clothe your nakedness

And the robe is His grace,

It’s all you need

Come as you are.

Anyone who feels that they’re unworthy

Anyone who’s just afraid,

Come sinner, come and receive His mercy,

Come as you are.

Lord, We need your grace, and if anyone here feels like they can’t believe…if any are tired and worn, empty-handed, feeling unworthy or afraid, I ask You to help them come to You, as they are. Thank you for taking us dirty and messed up and worn out, that none of us can claim we are better than another, because it is YOU who heals us and cleans us up. All we do is come….  Now, I ask You to use this little effort to draw the harassed and helpless to You, Amen.

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So Glad You’re Here

October 25, 2012 By: Angela Parlin

Welcome to my new blog! I used to post my thoughts at www.angelaparlin.blogspot.com, but life and babies got the best of me pulled me away for a bit. 🙂  Now my words are all pressed and ready to go, as God has been nudging me (for months) to share things He is teaching me with anyone who will listen  wants to hear.

So what I am learning is that I am still a mess inside. Nothing more special than a girl trying to figure out how to walk with God, wishing I never yelled at  raised my voice at my four rambunctious  sweet children. And it’s all okay, because He doesn’t need me to be perfect, and this is the great beauty in my life. 🙂

My passion is to love God with all my heart and to point people toward Jesus and His Word. This blog is one little way I hope to do both. I learn so much through the process of rambling stringing words together, and I pray God uses my words to draw you closer to Him, where He will make your heart overflow with joy and never let you go.

Welcome to my little corner of the world…

You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. Jeremiah 29:13

I run in the path of your commands, for you have set my heart free. Psalm 119:32

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Welcome to My Blog, So Much Beauty In All This Chaos~

I'm so glad you stopped by my little corner of the internet, where I write about the chaos of life & all the beauty we find, especially as we fix our eyes on Jesus. Thank you for sharing any posts you enjoy on social media. I'm so glad you're here!

~Angela
angela (at) angelaparlin (dot) com

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