On Motherhood – Page 11

Again the next day John was standing with two of his disciples, and he looked at Jesus as He walked along, and said, “Look! There is the Lamb of God!” The two disciples heard him say this, and they followed Him. But Jesus turned, and as He saw them following Him, He said to them,

“What are you looking for?” [“And what is it you wish?”]

And they answered Him, “Rabbi”—which translated is Teacher—“Where are you staying?” He said to them, “Come and see.” So they went and saw where He was staying, and they remained with Him that day. John 1:36-39, AMP

What are you looking for? What do you want?

One afternoon, I listened to an author tell Oprah about a time she answered a similar question. I was a new Mom, twice in just over a year. Home with two boys, adjusting to this life of taking care of others ALL THE TIME. The woman said she lived her monotonous, predictable life unhappy, unfulfilled. And so she began filling journals late into the nights, with the answer to this:

What do you really, really, really want?

The question led her to leave her life, eat and pray, before she found true love and knew it was the very thing she wanted. She encouraged viewers to sit, as many times as needed, to answer this question.

Surrounded by diapers and paci’s, scattered trucks and blocks, the question attracted me. It was fun to be asked what I wanted, even if it was only me doing the asking. I still have the journal where I answered it a few times when I slipped out for a hot tea at Starbucks. But this question took me a different direction~where I put pen to paper about what was most important in my one and only life.

What I really, really, really wanted MOST—had everything to do with Jesus. It’s not that my selfishness had died, or that I didn’t still want a beach house right then. But in thinking about this question, I knew how empty I’d feel if life was all about me and what I wanted instead of focused on the One who gave me life.

In those early days as a Mama, as I spent more time reading God’s Word and getting to know His heart, I began to understand for myself why His word says “In Him was life” and why people who followed Him on earth always seemed to run off, find friends and family, and bring them to Jesus so they could have that life, too.

What I really, really, really want is to live a life of love that makes people want to know Jesus, and for everyone I know to grab hold of the full and abundant life He gives. Thank you, Oprah for this defining moment. 🙂

So, what do YOU really, really, really want?

Lord Jesus, Help us to love nothing and no one more than You…

From the FULLNESS

of His grace,

we have all

received

one blessing after another.

John 1:16, NIV

If you look through our travel scrapbook (from the days when I had time to scrapbook), you’d notice a theme. We’ve been to a lot of beaches, at least for common folk. And we love them all, or at least this girl loves them all. My husband cares about rideable waves and surf zones. I’m just there to take it all in~let the waves lull me into a blissful, relaxed state, and take a daily run down the beach. When I get to run down the beach, instead of down the road, I feel like I could keep running FOREVER…or approximately 5 miles, whichever ends first.

So what does John 1:16 (above) have to do with the beach? According to my buddies Walvoord and Zuck, even waves are made of grace. Actually, what they say (in The Bible Knowledge Commentary) is that one blessing after another come to Christians “as waves continue to come to the shore.” Now that’s a description I can understand!

The Amplified version of John 1:16 says,

For out of His fullness (abundance)

we have all received (all had a share and we were all supplied with)

one grace after another and spiritual blessing upon spiritual blessing

and even favor upon favor and gift (heaped) upon gift.

Grace, blessings, gifts–all these roll in constant, as waves to the seashore. I think of standing on my favorite beach under an ever-changing sky, staring out over miles of blue I can’t see the end of, the waves like background music.

But this is not the way life feels from day to day. Rare moments of stillness or glimpses of beauty don’t trip me up. It’s the days I feel I’m running hard through sand that sticks, swimming tangled up in seaweed toward shore. And I admit, I don’t persevere through these gracefully.

Earlier this week, I filled my husband’s ears with just how hard this is (my life), when the kids won’t listen and I have so.much.to.do.it.hurts, and the calendar is packed, and there’s only so much time. While delivering this speech, I didn’t think about power in the waves I love so much or blessings that are mine.

He kindly led me away from the emotional ledge I sat on, and later, my Bible reading challenged me with the way Jesus handled “problems”. In John 6, the disciples had a huge, hungry crowd to feed and only a tiny amount of food to feed them. But BEFORE Jesus fixed this problem, he did one thing I easily forget.

He gave thanks.

I don’t know that I swim less tangled or run less hindered, but when I stop and give thanks, I start to see the graces more clearly and I receive them.

Is this it? This small thing, the difference between walking down the beach focused on sand beneath feet or gazing out at sun-sparkled, glorious waves of grace…

Help me, Lord, to just STOP. Thank you for this life, full and blessed, from the fullness of Your grace. Amen