Angela Parlin

So Much Beauty in All This Chaos

Beauty in the Chaos of a Writer’s Life~ #Ladder2Rooftop Academy

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This one’s for my Writing Friends, or anyone who wants to learn more about the writing life. This post begins a series on Writing, where I hope to encourage other bloggers and newbie (or wannabe) writers. So glad you’re here!

writing dream

I have always been a writer.

As a young girl, I copied words of story books, just for fun. I wrote stories and poems throughout stacks of notebooks, some of which still reside in a pink plastic box in the attic.

I wrote copy for yearbooks and a number of newsletters, and I wrote for a weekly teen section of the local newspaper. I wrote for college organizations and church groups, and later took my first real job as a writer at IBM.

Then a different dream came true, and I became a Mom.

As a 30-something, third-time Mommy, I heard the whisper to write again. I didn’t know what it meant exactly. My hands were full. I was afraid and feeling inadequate. I wanted to know what it meant–Exactly. But I only had some ideas.

So I rocked my tiny pink bundle and chased two toddler boys, and in between all the work of early motherhood and the playdates and parties and near-daily Target runs, I dreamed little writing dreams.

I bought some books from the Writing & Publishing rack at Barnes & Noble, and hated everything I learned. You must promote yourself. You must sell your work. You must build a platform, the wise professionals told me.

Then I wanted my writing dream to die.

It wouldn’t.

I have always been a writer, because I write. It’s a gift God has given me, and it brings me so much joy.

But becoming a (published) author hasn’t turned out anything like I first imagined. Do you relate?

What did your dream look like, when it first came to you?

The writer’s life is both beauty and chaos, and the journey often turns out to be different than we’d hoped.

Maybe you haven’t arrived where you think you should be by now. You’re disappointed, and like me, you fall into discontentment sometimes.

One season, I was ready to give up completely. Alone, on my screened porch, I heard another whisper.

“Don’t quit.”

“Come with me.”

“On this journey, I have many things for you to do—write and nurture and host and love and lead and teach and more.”

I said Yes.

Here’s my dream, Lord. It looks like published books to me, but I trust it to You instead. You decide what it becomes.

I grieved for what might never be. It may never turn out the way I hope. Of course, I could kick down doors, and probably make some things happen.

But I’m doing the work I know is mine to do in this season. I’m listening and learning to trust.

Writing is my dream, but it’s not my only dream.

I also dream of loving and leading well where the Lord opens doors for me. I dream of seizing the days of this season, while my kids live at home. I dream of living with no regrets.

What are your other dreams for this life? What are your other callings?

Today, I blog here and on a couple other blogs, and I write for various organizations. I’m working on writing a book, whether it gets published or not. And I love it all.

With my business-owner husband and our four busy kids and homeschooling, my life is full and chaotic and beautiful. It’s a journey I wouldn’t trade for anything.

Even in the chaos, there’s always so much beauty. We find it whenever we choose to see.

Has your dream taken a new shape?

Has it expanded or headed a different direction?

I pray you will see the beauty of your right-now place. If you desire more of this type of encouragement, would you Subscribe at the pink box, top right?

Click here to find out more about the #Ladder2Rooftop Academy, where I contribute to Beauty in the Chaos of the Writer’s Life.

 

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When You Need to Move Forward

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mature move forwardMaturity is a hot topic around our house these days.

These kids are determined to grow bigger, taller, and smarter each week, and along with that, they’re determined to grow in freedom. Sometimes I wish I knew how to slow it all down.

We often explain to our oldest two, that in this area or that, we need to see a little more maturity before we can allow greater freedom.

Strangely, there are days when it appears maturity is decreasing rather than increasing. Anybody else?

It probably has something to do with approaching the teen years. But let’s just say we’ve lived a number of wide-eyed, dumbfounded, What did he just do?  moments around here. Since we’re only beginning this new stage, I have a feeling we need to be ready for more of that to come.

{Parents of teens & grown children are shaking their heads yes.} 🙂

But all this talk of maturity doesn’t only apply to our growing children.

The writer of Hebrews spoke to a group of seasoned believers who seemed to have slipped backward in their faith, maybe all the way back to where they began. They were seasoned, yet spiritually lazy.

He was teaching them about the significance of Jesus as their High Priest, when he said–

“It is hard to make it clear to you because you no longer try to understand.” (5:11)

One–I think I may have a lot of use for that line.

But two? Ouch.

Could this reprimand be meant in any way, for you and me?

I think of how I’ve run from complex spiritual topics at times. When it overwhelms me or I can’t figure it out, I move on to something else. But maybe what I need is to work out my faith in those areas.

Maybe I don’t need to try to figure it all out, but to persist in understanding.

I think of the spiritual disciplines I have declared “too hard” for me. The ones I’ve rationalized with, I’m just not there yet.

Or the times I committed to read through the Bible in a year. But when I got “stuck” at Leviticus, I skipped a number of books or abandoned my plan altogether.

Yes, sometimes, even as grown-ups, we run away when things are hard.

So what does it look like to move forward to maturity?

Persevere.

Progress.

Keep at it.

Persist.

Move forward.

Take one little step after another.

It looks like growing our relationship with the Lord through solitude, the Word, and obedience.

Years ago, I finally persisted through Leviticus all the way to Revelation, without looking back. I kept moving forward through the Word, developing a greater thirst and a more complete understanding. All that forward movement caused more of the same.

You know what I think held me back before? I didn’t desire to grow. I wanted to have read through the Bible, but I didn’t want to do the hard work of thoughtfully considering ALL the words, even those in Leviticus and Numbers and the Chronicles.

But this is our calling–the calling He’s given all of us.

I’m not talking about reading through the Bible, though that could be part of it.

God calls us each to move forward, to move toward Him, to grow up in Christ.

Are you willing to follow His call, even when it’s hard work? Do you want what’s on the other side, to know Him more?

What step will you take today, to move forward, toward spiritual maturity?

Therefore let us move beyond the elementary teachings about Christ and be taken forward to maturity. Hebrews 6:1a

 

READ MORE at PurposefulFaith.com!

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Letting Go of Imaginary Worries

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peace worry

Image By Angela Parlin

I used to think I didn’t struggle much with worry.

And then I became a Mom a decade ago. Suddenly there were so many what ifs to contend with. My imagination easily ran off to terrifying places, thinking two steps ahead of them, often fearing the worst.

Sometimes still, I get caught up in a whirlwind of worry, even though I know I don’t get to control things. Even though my trust in God has grown.

Shakespeare said cowards die a thousand deaths, and the brave die only one. I’ve heard a variation of his quote, which rings true for me:

“Some people die a thousand deaths before they die one.”

(Author Unknown)

I know the truth of my thoughts and my imaginations. I don’t tend toward bravery, but fear. How many deaths have I died in my head, or how many deaths have I feared for my loved ones?

What about you? Do you get trapped in worry? Have you grieved for those you haven’t even lost? Do you try to figure out the future, even though you have no power there?

When I’m stuck in worry, my best response is to turn each concern into a prayer, and to listen.

I am God, He says.

I am a good God, He says.

Trust me, He says.

He calls me to hand over all of my concerns to Him, each time they find their way back into my mind.

He calls me to bring my life before Him, to bring my loved ones’ lives before Him, day after day, and to place them in His hands.

He calls me to come to Him in prayer, to lay out the pieces of my life, to entrust it all to Him.

He calls you to all of the same.

When worry takes over, what we need most is to find our way back to the quiet, to fix our eyes upon Jesus once more. There, He speaks kindly to us, transforming and renewing our minds.

There, peace takes over, and worry morphs into trust.

We stop trying to carry our hurts, our struggles, our pain on our own.

We stop trying to bear our burdens–both our real ones and our imaginary ones–apart from the God who holds the whole world in His hands.

And when the worries return, as they often do, the Lord invites us to trust Him again, because He is God and He is good.

Some people die a thousand deaths before they die one, and I don’t want to be that person anymore. Lord, help us to live in peace instead of worry, to trust you with all the pieces of our lives.

Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. Colossians 3:15

Peace I leave with you, my peace I give you; I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled, and do not be afraid. John 14:27

READ this post also at PurposefulFaith.com!

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Listening to Burnt Bacon

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Bacon’s a hot topic in the news this week.

And in my circles, so is this question of being a good Mom. ‘Seems like the perfect time for this little post to resurface. I hope it will encourage you, that there are a lot of ways to be a good Mom.

motherhood burnt bacon

 On an ordinary Tuesday afternoon, I sat at the table working on a writing assignment. When I remembered, it’s Big Salad night.

So I tossed eggs in water to boil, threw chicken on the stove, and arranged bacon on a frying pan. Our piano teacher knocked on the door. We talked, I checked in with food, and went back to writing.

The phone rang, and I talked to my Dad, who’s returning my call from earlier. I tended to food and sat down again. A kid ran in to tell me his online math lesson score. I cheered him on, and sent him off to read.

The doorbell rang, so I checked the food on my way. I chatted with a neighbor, ran back to flip bacon, and sat again to write.

Another kid happened by. Showed me the art she’s been creating. I marveled at leaves painted different colors and pressed onto canvas, turned over chicken breasts, cheered her on, and sent her off to read.

It’s supposed to be quiet time, which is why I’m working on a writing assignment and also why I’m cooking dinner to avoid the assignment.

I checked boiled eggs, popped outside for a minute, answered the kids’ most pressing questions, and then our little man woke from his nap. I rubbed his back, fed him a snack, called the next kid for piano lesson, remembered I still needed to clean salad greens, washed and ripped while pondering my writing assignment, and then.

Another kid walked into the kitchen, making a beeline to the stove.

Um, Mom? You know you’re cooking bacon, right?

It took a minute, but I returned to my real place in this real story.

I’m cooking bacon. I just forgot. Because the greens, the eggs, the chicken, the kids, the neighbor, the music, the teacher, the back rub, the assignment, and all the thoughts pushed their way forward.

I know everyone does this sometimes. I also know I’ve burned bacon without 16 other things going on.

But this story isn’t about the bacon. It’s about being a Mom.

When I became a Mom, I had all these ideas about how to be a good Mom, none of which made space for my weaknesses. Most of them were not really sustainable, at least not for me.

What I’ve learned is, There are a lot of ways to be a good Mom.

Most of those involve the kitchen, but I used to think my kitchen life had to look a certain way. I wanted to be one of those Moms with the picture-perfect meals, all shiny and healthy and planned out for weeks in advance.

And while I love serving my family healthy food that will love them back, try though I did, the kitchen never became more than a great place for me to daydream.

So instead of a Mom whose life looks like a Pottery Barn catalog, I’m often the one with the burnt things on baby blue plates. And it’s all going to be okay. Because today I heard this little slice of encouragement from my 12-year-old son:

“You know Mom? It looks nasty, but it’s actually not that bad.” 

I’m still laughing. I might need to frame that quote–it’s so Tuesday-typical around here.

Years ago, I might have cried because another kitchen-failure. But I’ve grown into a Mom who knows it doesn’t mean anything important about who she is. Who knows she’s on top of some things and lets others burn to a crisp, but only because there’s never space enough in this life for a simple daydream.

So the next time you’re dealing with burnt bacon–or a flopped school snack or forgotten assignment or another mountain of laundry or any number of things that might tempt you to believe you stink in all things Mommyhood–remember this: ME, TOO.

And it’s probably not that bad. Even if it looks nasty.

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Some Things Are Meant For Unfolding

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unfolding God's Word lightWe’ve been working on folding shirts a new way, in my two younger kids’ rooms, because the old way, Mom’s way, was not working.

Our new fold is really a cross between rolling and folding. Instead of stacking shirts flat, we place them in their drawers almost upright. The kids are able to see which shirt they’re pulling out before they move anything around, and so the rest of the drawer stays neat. I like neat. 🙂

Our littlest is five, a great age for being a helper. This new fold is something he does well, and he’s excited because he does it all by himself. He often says, “You HAVE TO come see this, Mom! My shirts are so good!”

I gasp and tell him, “I’ve never seen anything so neat (especially in this room)!” And he nods his head, proudly.

We get a little excited around here about new systems for keeping things neat and tidy and well-managed. But there are some things which were never meant to be kept in a drawer, out of the way, folded up tight, and managed.

Psalm 119:30 says, The unfolding of Your words gives light; it gives understanding to the simple.

I wonder, what is this unfolding, and how often do we approach God’s Word this way?

Do you come to this ancient book, ready to unfold the words and let them unfold upon you?

Do you sit long enough to allow layer upon layer to open before your eyes, lighting the path of your life? Lighting the way to life?

I love to study God’s Word, yet I’m convicted. Sometimes I allow myself to get swept up in the busyness of life, much of that busyness my own making. Then I approach God’s Word as a super-quick fill-up. I know I need it to get through the days, but I don’t always spend the time.

I don’t always approach the Word the way I’d approach a person I love.

I come rushed, asking for what I need, and please, God, drop it on me fast, because I also need to be out the door in a minute.

I hope you don’t hear any condemnation here. I believe God honors any minute we give Him, just as He honors the hours. But sometimes I see a pattern in me, and I wonder if you see the same.

Sometimes I forget this book is a treasure waiting to be unfolded, waiting to give us light.

His Word is alive and divides me in two. It lifts my eyes beyond everything I can see. It lifts my eyes to heaven. It grows my love for Jesus, for others, and even my love for me–as His work of art, His chosen, His beloved, His sister.

Do you unfold His words, and let them unfold upon you?

To unfold means to open. That’s a pretty straightforward starting place. We open His Word and let His words enter into our hearts.

To unfold is also to reveal, which is something the Lord does for us. He unfolds His words upon us, reminding us of truth or revealing truth in a new way.

Finally, to unfold is to interpret or expound, which takes time and the effort to dig in.

God’s Word is a treasure, and any effort we spend unfolding it, manifests in our lives as light and understanding and wisdom.

Lord, Your Word is perfect, and it refreshes our souls. Your Word is trustworthy, making us wise. Your Word is right, giving joy to our hearts. Your Word is radiant, giving light to our eyes. Your Word is righteous and pure. It is firm and endures forever. Your words are more precious than gold. Help us to treasure them, to treasure You. In the Name of Jesus, Amen. {adapted from Psalm 19}

See this post at PurposefulFaith.com!

*Will you join me here each week? Subscribe in the box to the right–Thank you for being here!

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