On Motherhood – Page 3

Learning to Live in the Now

September 24, 2015 By: Angela Parlin

I stood out on the sidewalk recently, talking with a friend. She spent her days at home with a little one, not always sure what to do next, and she felt like Facebook was taking over her days.

She realized she often looked to the apps on her phone when exhausted, when she didn’t want to make another decision.

The phone is a perfect distraction when we don’t know what to do next.

But my friend didn’t like what her life was beginning to look like. The constant pull of Facebook made it impossible for her to stay present in her days. She didn’t want to miss precious moments with her daughter, but she also didn’t want to drop out of Facebook altogether. It can be a great way to stay connected with friends and family.

Still, something needed to change.

I could relate. My phone addiction problem comes and goes, often depending on the current season’s schedule as a Mom. Sometimes I’m running crazy and too busy to even notice the apps on my phone.

But other days, I can’t stop checking the phone, with all the little red flags waving notifications that someone has said something or liked something or needs my attention.

In those times, I’m looking for something. Something in my life is missing or incomplete, and I’m restless until I find it.

The problem is, I never do. I only waste time looking for more.

I seek shallow connections, rather than open my ears to the concerns of the people in my own living room or outside my front door.

I received a new inspirational magazine a few weeks ago called Simple Grace: Your Daily Dose of Hope. In it, a reader shared her story of being addicted to the distraction of carry-along technology.

Out to lunch with her daughter, she constantly checked for texts, emails, and status updates. It bothered her daughter that she chose the phone over living in the now.

The phone caused her to miss beautiful moments of her life, like this opportunity out to lunch with her teenage daughter.

“It’s so tempting to get pulled into habits that tickle our mind but leave our soul wanting. We end up feeling so unfulfilled…” ~Simple Grace, August 2015, p. 30

When we feel like we’re lacking something, our natural response is to look for what we’re missing.

These days, with technology at our fingertips, it quickly becomes habit to reach for our phones.

What if instead of chasing every flutter of our phone, we remember it will never deliver what we’re really looking for?

What if we walk away sometimes and ask the Lord to fill our hearts and minds with what we really need–His grace, His unending love, His always presence, and His power?

The Spirit gives life; the flesh counts for nothing. The words I have spoken to you—they are full of the Spirit and life. John 6:63

***I’d love to have you join me weekly at this space. Enter your email address in the box to the right, to receive updates in your inbox. 🙂 Thanks for visiting, ~Angela

The Way of Love

September 15, 2015 By: Angela Parlin

Unforgiveness showed up at breakfast this morning, sticking out like an unwelcome guest at our table.

In a family of six, he comes often. Sometimes, he comes with me. As a Mom with ideas about how things should go in this place, with kids whose ideas often differ from mine–I’m learning to forgive, truly and fully and often. {Emphasis on learning.}

It’s not easy to forgive and let go of offenses. Especially when we know they’re going to do it again.

This morning, Unforgiveness came because it can be hard to share a bedroom with a brother. I told the kids to clean their rooms before coming to breakfast. But you can imagine how two different people move at totally different speeds before 8 AM.

One stayed up too late reading and wanted to stay in bed. The other had been awake a while and was hungry for breakfast. He took care of most of the room while begging his brother to help. But while he did more than his fair share, frustration turned to anger, and he let his brother have it.

When he finally took a breath, I said some words about forgiveness.

He assured me I didn’t understand the situation. This isn’t at all about forgiveness, Mom. It’s about what HE KEEPS ON DOING. It’s about how I’M DOING ALL THE WORK.

You want me to forgive him?

What kind of place is this?

He didn’t say that last part, but you could almost see it working its way out of him.

I know this feeling all too well. I’ve been in his shoes, so many times.

I’ve let someone have it, because I had taken just about more than I could stand and this is enough, I’ve said.

I’ve said it to him, to the kid who sat there eating his eggs and letting us know, in no uncertain terms, he’d had enough.

I’ve also been the one in need of forgiveness, for a long list of reasons.

As followers of Jesus, we’ve been forgiven, infinitely and completely.

As that truth sinks in deeper, we become more quick to forgive. We grow in forgiveness as it becomes more natural, although it’s not always easy.

Inside these walls, within our families, this is where we work it out. This is where we learn to forgive so that instead of carrying around our anger, we carry around love. Instead of irritation, we learn to let love cover over a multitude of offenses.

Opportunities abound inside these walls. Am I right Moms? And Dads and sons and daughters?

Opportunities to forgive abound, because of all of us. Also, opportunities to love abound.

May we be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave each one of us.

May we follow God’s example, therefore, as dearly loved children, and walk in the way of love, just as Christ loved us and gave Himself up for us…

{Taken from Ephesians 4:32-5:2}

Dreams & Reality #LongingforParis

August 4, 2015 By: Angela Parlin

A few weeks ago, I couldn’t wait to tell you about an amazing book I had just finished reading–Longing for Paris: One Woman’s Search for Joy, Beauty, and Adventure—Right Where She Is.

Written by Sarah Mae, author of Desperate, this book has quickly become one of my favorites. I’m telling you about it again, because today is Launch Day for this gem, and the message is worth spreading.

I could tell you again about how I couldn’t put the book down and I devoured it in a day, while my kids splashed away in the little blow-up deck pool and wouldn’t stop asking me for snacks. 🙂

I could tell you how Sarah Mae understands Mom-life, how she writes as a friend who’s been there, and you might just feel like she peeked inside your own heart.

But instead, let me ask you a question, because I’m guessing you know what I’m talking about.

Do you know that struggle between what you want—and what you want to want?

Sarah Mae has wrestled through that tension, and shares her story in this book, encouraging us to take our desires to the Lord.

She reminds us that God formed our inward parts, as Psalm 139 says. He wove each of us together, and He cares about our dreams.

Is it hard for you to believe, that God cares about your dreams?

In many cases, He has placed those dreams within our hearts. But they’re not always meant for right now. Some dreams are meant to be realized another day.

Longing for Paris will encourage you to hold onto your dreams–but with open hands.

I’ve struggled through this myself, and maybe you’ve done the same.

I held tightly to some dreams. I was afraid of both stepping toward them–and also of not ever seeing them come true. In my daily life, I was constantly frustrated with how to work toward those–when other dreams of mine showed up like little people walking around, ALWAYS in need of something more.

In a season of desperation, I offered my dreams to the Lord. I handed them over again and again, until I was sure I had let them go.

I grieved the loss of what I had hoped for and completely said goodbye. At that time, I realized some of my identity was also wrapped up in that thing. That was a whole other tangled mess to unravel.

But God saw me through. He showed me that He cared, and reminded me of His goodness. And then I realized He didn’t agree, that me and my dream had broken up–and that we were never ever ever getting back together.

The dream might not end up looking like I always thought it would look. But it wasn’t over, and it started getting good when I offered it back to Him.

So I love this question Sarah Mae asks in Chapter 1 of Longing for Paris:

“Is it settled in your heart that {God} is good?”

Even if your longings are not fulfilled this side of heaven, will you trust God?

You realize by now, the book is not really about Paris.

It’s about the way our longings can lead us to the One who filled us with dreams and fulfills our deepest longings.

I’ve been to Paris, and yes, I fell madly in love with the City of Light. But the truth?

“Paris can only ever give me a glimpse of the true thing I yearn for: to be with my God in all of His splendor.” ~Sarah Mae

I think you will love Sarah Mae’s new book. Order it here!

Longing for Paris {Book Review}

June 28, 2015 By: Angela Parlin

Today I am thrilled to tell you about an amazing little book I just finished reading, Longing for Paris: One Woman’s Search for Joy, Beauty, and Adventure—Right Where She Is. Written by Sarah Mae, author of Desperate, this book has quickly become one of my favorite books on the shelves.

I received an advance reader’s copy, as part of her launch team, and I devoured the book in one day.

I couldn’t put it down.

The kids enjoyed a day of splashing in the blow-up deck pool, while I highlighted in excess and mastered the art of read-walking (around the house) because too much time sitting…ouch!

What did I love about this book? Much more than I can put into a book review.

First of all, Sarah Mae understands my life as a Mom. She might as well have been taking down notes from my soul.

She gets that I long for the beauty of Paris, for soaking in art and music and getting lost in stacks of books, for time with real-live grown-up friends away from the kids, for a life of adventure and all the things that bring me joy in this life. But also, that my deepest desire is to love my husband well and to be there for my children in ways that only I can, to enjoy them and encourage them to really LIVE these lives they’ve been given.

But you know that recurring struggle between what you want—and what you want to want?

The desire to love the life you’ve been given—but also the dream of turning it into something better?

Well, Sarah Mae helps us understand how to live in that tension. The one between our dreams and our reality.

Longing for Paris is a message of hope for Moms. It’s the encouragement we all need to embrace the season we’re in, while not denying the dreams God places in our hearts.

The point of the book is not really Paris.

“On the outside, I wanted Paris. But on the inside, what I was really searching for was a filling to the deepest parts of my soul. And I wanted to know what to do with Paris and my soul and my every day.” ~Sarah Mae

The point of the book is, longing for Paris (or whatever else it may be), leads us to the One who filled us with dreams and fulfills our deepest longings.

“Paris can only ever give me a glimpse of the true thing I yearn for: to be with my God in all of His splendor.” ~Sarah Mae

So, let’s see…my recommendation?

PRE-ORDER the book TODAY! Move this one to the top of your list. Share it with all your friends. Yes, it’s THAT good!

Order it here!

But the Years Are Short

June 5, 2015 By: Angela Parlin

12 years ago today, I was supposed to be giving birth to my first baby.

But he stayed cozy for another week.

I remained just a little shy of crazy, waking each day in tears because I was still with child. It was an emotional time.

Kinda like last weekend. The boys were camping, and I ran up to grab something “real quick” from the attic. The grossly unorganized attic. Thanks, kids. Instead, I spent 2 hours organizing and happened upon these two tiny gentlemen.

Skylar thought I’d stepped on a nail. These were happy tears, I explained. And some sad ones, because…

I never wanted those years to end.

Those boys were sweet and fun and they made me laugh. A lot.

I didn’t have to expect so much out of them, because they were little. I enjoyed being their Mommy SO much.

I dressed them up often like my own twin baby dolls. Until that snotty little kid at church made fun of them for wearing the same Tommy Hilfiger shirts, right in front of me. Like that, my shopping fun was over. They never wore matching shirts again.

They’re growing into amazing young men–and I’m so unbelievably proud of them. Also holding my breath a little. And praying a lot.

They’re not baby dolls anymore. Now they’re pre-teen boys in man-sized bodies.

They spend their lives repeating (or making up) jokes that aren’t funny, making “impressive” noises with their bodies, trying to get out of schoolwork, and keeping a room that induces fits. {At least that’s the effect it has on me.}

They grow more independent each day, and that’s just how it should be.

Lisa-Jo Baker said it best, in her book, Surprised by Motherhood:

“Mothers never want it to be over. Even the hard stuff. They may want to find room to breathe, to weep, to panic. But they don’t want it to end…”

Back when my boys were small, my pastor said something I didn’t fully understand~

“The days are long, but the years are short.”

I get it now. I feel it inside and out. It’s a strange combination of terrible and beautiful.

But once I find my way out of this occasional melancholy maze, my desire is great.

I want to make the most of these years.

I can’t do it alone. Last night, God reminded me~Apart from me you can do nothing.

I can read the best books and compile the right research. I may have excellent methods in place and know just what to do.

But the best things happen when I lay down all my plans and methods and research, and ask the Lord to live through me–that’s when fruit grows, in spite of me.

I’ve been reading a 31-Day devotional written by some friends I met last year at the Allume Conference. I want to share it with you, because if you’re anything like me, you want to make the most of these years, and you need regular encouragement. Grace for the Imperfect Mom: A 31-Day Invitation to Refreshed Mothering seeks to “frame our mothering through the fruits of the Spirit.” Is there any better way?

The authors hooked me with this summary–“Grace for what happens today, grace over our past, our future, and the families whose lives we influence each day. Grace for all us imperfect mamas out there.” Imperfect mamas? Now that’s something I understand!

This is an inexpensive and easy summer read, full of uplifting scriptures applied to real-life scenarios, and it would make an excellent gift for any Mom. Check it out here!

Here’s to all of us, making the most of days that are long and years that are painfully short…

~Angela

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Learning to Live in the Now

The phone is a perfect distraction when we don’t know what to do next.

But other days, I can’t stop checking the phone, with all the little red flags waving notifications that someone has said something or liked something or needs my attention.

The phone caused her to miss beautiful moments of her life, like this opportunity out to lunch with her teenage daughter.

When we feel like we’re lacking something, our natural response is to look for what we’re missing.

What if we walk away sometimes and ask the Lord to fill our hearts and minds with what we really need–His grace, His unending love, His always presence, and His power?

The Spirit gives life; the flesh counts for nothing. The words I have spoken to you—they are full of the Spirit and life. John 6:63

Like this:

The Way of Love

It’s not easy to forgive and let go of offenses. Especially when we know they’re going to do it again.

I know this feeling all too well. I’ve been in his shoes, so many times.

As followers of Jesus, we’ve been forgiven, infinitely and completely.

As that truth sinks in deeper, we become more quick to forgive. We grow in forgiveness as it becomes more natural, although it’s not always easy.

May we be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave each one of us.

May we follow God’s example, therefore, as dearly loved children, and walk in the way of love, just as Christ loved us and gave Himself up for us…

Like this:

Dreams & Reality #LongingforParis

Do you know that struggle between what you want—and what you want to want?

Is it hard for you to believe, that God cares about your dreams?

Longing for Paris will encourage you to hold onto your dreams–but with open hands.

“Is it settled in your heart that {God} is good?”

It’s about the way our longings can lead us to the One who filled us with dreams and fulfills our deepest longings.

Like this:

Longing for Paris {Book Review}

But you know that recurring struggle between what you want—and what you want to want?

The point of the book is not really Paris.

The point of the book is, longing for Paris (or whatever else it may be), leads us to the One who filled us with dreams and fulfills our deepest longings.

Like this:

But the Years Are Short

I never wanted those years to end.

“Mothers never want it to be over. Even the hard stuff. They may want to find room to breathe, to weep, to panic. But they don’t want it to end…”

“The days are long, but the years are short.”

I want to make the most of these years.

But the best things happen when I lay down all my plans and methods and research, and ask the Lord to live through me–that’s when fruit grows, in spite of me.

Like this:

Compassion International

The phone is a perfect distraction when we don’t know what to do next.

But other days, I can’t stop checking the phone, with all the little red flags waving notifications that someone has said something or liked something or needs my attention.

The phone caused her to miss beautiful moments of her life, like this opportunity out to lunch with her teenage daughter.

When we feel like we’re lacking something, our natural response is to look for what we’re missing.

What if we walk away sometimes and ask the Lord to fill our hearts and minds with what we really need–His grace, His unending love, His always presence, and His power?

The Spirit gives life; the flesh counts for nothing. The words I have spoken to you—they are full of the Spirit and life. John 6:63

Share this:

Like this:

It’s not easy to forgive and let go of offenses. Especially when we know they’re going to do it again.

I know this feeling all too well. I’ve been in his shoes, so many times.

As followers of Jesus, we’ve been forgiven, infinitely and completely.

As that truth sinks in deeper, we become more quick to forgive. We grow in forgiveness as it becomes more natural, although it’s not always easy.

May we be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave each one of us.

May we follow God’s example, therefore, as dearly loved children, and walk in the way of love, just as Christ loved us and gave Himself up for us…

Share this:

Like this:

Do you know that struggle between what you want—and what you want to want?

Is it hard for you to believe, that God cares about your dreams?

Longing for Paris will encourage you to hold onto your dreams–but with open hands.

“Is it settled in your heart that {God} is good?”

It’s about the way our longings can lead us to the One who filled us with dreams and fulfills our deepest longings.

Share this:

Like this:

But you know that recurring struggle between what you want—and what you want to want?

The point of the book is not really Paris.

The point of the book is, longing for Paris (or whatever else it may be), leads us to the One who filled us with dreams and fulfills our deepest longings.

Share this:

Like this:

I never wanted those years to end.

“Mothers never want it to be over. Even the hard stuff. They may want to find room to breathe, to weep, to panic. But they don’t want it to end…”

“The days are long, but the years are short.”

I want to make the most of these years.

But the best things happen when I lay down all my plans and methods and research, and ask the Lord to live through me–that’s when fruit grows, in spite of me.

Share this:

Like this:

Compassion International