Beauty in Chaos – Page 16

Why We Should Never Listen to Burnt Bacon

November 11, 2014 By: Angela Parlin

On an ordinary Tuesday afternoon, I sat at the table working on a writing assignment. When I remembered, it’s Big Salad night.

So I tossed eggs in water to boil, threw chicken on the stove, and arranged bacon on a frying pan. Our piano teacher knocked on the door. We talked, I checked in with food, and went back to writing.

The phone rang, and I talked to my Dad, who’s returning my call from earlier. I tended to food and sat down again. A kid ran in to tell me his online math lesson score. I cheered him on, and sent him off to read.

The doorbell rang, so I checked the food on my way. I chatted with a neighbor, ran back to flip bacon, and sat again to write.

Another kid happened by. Showed me the art she’s been creating. I marvelled at leaves painted different colors and pressed onto her canvas, turned over chicken breasts, cheered her on, and sent her off to read.

It’s supposed to be quiet time, which is why I’m working on a writing assignment and also why I’m cooking dinner to avoid the assignment.

I checked boiled eggs, popped outside for a minute, answered the kids’ most pressing questions, and then our little man woke from his nap. I rubbed his back, fed him a snack, called the next kid for piano lesson, remembered I still needed to clean salad greens, washed and ripped while pondering my writing assignment, and then.

Another kid walked into the kitchen, making a beeline to the stove.

Um, Mom? You know you’re cooking bacon, right?

It took a minute, but I returned to my real place in this real story. I’m cooking bacon. I just forgot. Because the greens, the eggs, the chicken, the kids, the neighbor, the music, the teacher, the back rub, the assignment, and all the thoughts pushed their way forward.

I know everyone does this sometimes. I also know I’ve burned bacon without 16 other things going on. But this story isn’t about the bacon. It’s about being a Mom.

When I became a Mom, I had all these ideas about how to be a good Mom, none of which made space for my weaknesses. Most of them were not really sustainable, at least not for me.

What I’ve learned is, There are a lot of ways to be a good Mom.

Most of those involve the kitchen, but I used to think my kitchen life had to look a certain way. I wanted to be one of those Moms with the picture-perfect meals, all shiny and healthy and planned out for weeks in advance. And while I love serving my family healthy food that will love them back, try though I did, the kitchen never became more than a great place for me to daydream.

So instead of a Mom whose life looks like a Pottery Barn catalog, I’m often the one with the burnt things on pretty plates. And it’s all going to be okay. Because today I heard this little slice of encouragement:

And I quote, “You know Mom? It looks nasty, but it’s actually not that bad.”

I’m still laughing. I might need to frame that quote–it’s so Tuesday-typical around here. Years ago, I might have cried because another kitchen-failure. But I’ve grown into a Mom who knows it doesn’t mean anything important about who she is.

So the next time you’re dealing with burnt bacon–or a flopped school snack or forgotten assignment or a botched recipe or any number of things that might tempt you to believe you stink in all things Mommyhood, remember this: ME, TOO.

And it’s probably not that bad. Even if it looks nasty.

{Day 24}: When Opportunity Knocks

October 24, 2014 By: Angela Parlin

I learned about the contest a few days before the deadline, but knew right away I would enter. The biggest reason? FEEDBACK.

It’s not often a writer gets valuable feedback from an editor. So I’m told. The truth is, I don’t think I’ve ever submitted anything to a contest in my adult life. Shame on me.

Proverbs 31 Ministries, through COMPEL, their amazing writer’s training ministry, hoped to give each writer editorial feedback.

So when I opened the email during the middle of a school-at-home Wednesday, and it said ~ Angela, you won, as well as a couple paragraphs of positive feedback from the editor, I could not stop crying.

My kids sat there, confused.

Mom, what’s wrong?…But isn’t this a good thing, Mom?…I think this is a good thing!

This good thing is a blessing to me, and I’ve been praying it will bless others also. Click here to read my devotion, The Slavery of Striving.

Have a beautiful end-of-October weekend!

~Angela

{Day 17}: World Poverty Day

October 17, 2014 By: Angela Parlin

Welcome back to 31 Days of Love in Red Letters!

Today is World Poverty Day, and I want to encourage you to join the fight–and move forward with hope.

Maybe you’re already praying and supporting the fight against poverty, but sometimes you wonder if anything is getting better.

Maybe you’ve looked around and been overwhelmed by such great need.

Maybe it appears the problem is too big and the solution too small.

Maybe you think it’s not possible to defeat poverty.

That’s a myth. We can do this. We can put an end to extreme poverty.

The truth is, between 1990 and 2010, the number of people living in extreme poverty was cut in half.

The truth is, in one generation, the number of children dying before their 5th birthday was CUT IN HALF.

The truth is, AIDS is no longer a death sentence. New HIV infections are steadily declining. Diseases like Malaria and Measles are being defeated.

But there’s another side to the truth. Despite all this progress, 1.2 billion people still live in extreme poverty.

In his book, Hope Rising, Scott C. Todd says, “Extreme poverty does not have to exist. When Christians accept that fact and start living accordingly, we will find the solution is already within our reach.”

But more importantly, Jesus said to give generously. Not to those who can pay us back, but to those can never pay us back.

Then Jesus said to his host, “When you give a luncheon or dinner, do not invite your friends, your brothers or sisters, your relatives, or your rich neighbors; if you do, they may invite you back and so you will be repaid. But when you give a banquet, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind, and you will be blessed.” Luke 14:12-14

Please join us, to fight world poverty. Compassion International is an excellent place to start. We sponsor children through Compassion, and even had the blessing of meeting a few of them face-to-face in their home country last year.

We witnessed first-hand the important work of this organization. They are fulfilling a high calling, and seeing amazing results. We get to be a part of it, which is truly thrilling. Sponsor a child, and you will be blessed!

(Statistics above taken from Hope Rising.)

When Homeschool Beats You

September 25, 2014 By: Angela Parlin

I’m going to say a few things about homeschool. But I want to make sure you know something first.

Before we decided to homeschool, it was the last thing I was ever going to do. I don’t think it’s a biblical mandate or the only right way to educate children. There are other excellent choices, and any choice carries with it both pros and cons.

Homeschool sounded a bit like torture, for the teacher I mean. To be honest, it sounded kinda terrible to do to my kids as well—like I would be keeping them from life rather than presenting them with opportunities. That’s how I used to see it.

But when I realized I couldn’t screw up kindergarten for a child who already devoured words like candy, we set out to homeschool. Only for that year. Except that now we’re in year 6.

Most days, I love homeschool, and our kids love it too. Our first 3 years, when friends asked me about our days, I gushed about books and plans and freedom.

But then came year 4. When we had the special opportunity to homeschool with a toddler in the house. And 3 others in separate grades.

To put it simply, homeschool beat me. I was ready to throw in the towel. We toured schools, and I prepared my heart to give it up after all I’d poured into it.

While we didn’t feel peace about scrapping the whole program, God changed my perspective in necessary ways through that process. Sometimes changing course is the right choice for a family, but it wasn’t for us, not then. We changed co-op groups and took our littlest to preschool last year, but we stuck with homeschooling.

Those 2 years felt like a neverending season. But now we’ve turned this corner where we’re able to complete our studies with time to spare, and we can get through a lesson without 18 interruptions and mounting frustration. Things are fun again. Some days are still hard–but that would be true with any educational choice.

Homeschooling is like a rollercoaster. It’s the same with parenting. And life. Sometimes things are running along smoothly and you’re clicking up to the top of the hill. You’re excited, you know where you’re headed, and you’re going the right direction. Other times, you’re on that rickety, curvy part where you never know what’s coming next, you’re not having any fun, and you’re pretty sure you’re going to puke. The only way through is through, but you see no end in sight.

If you’re in a beat-down season, remember it really is only a season. It may be an exceptionally long season, but you will look back one day and see God at work between the curves and spins and upside-down loop-de-loops.

I wish I could say having the right formula makes it magically easy to get through. But there’s no simple fix for hard seasons. We need to live through them and let life teach us. Yes, seek God. Acquire outside help. Change things up whenever necessary. But you’ll probably still need to puke.

Then the ride will end, and you’ll step back on, buckle up, and head toward those ups and downs all over again. It’s worth the ride. Turns out, there’s so much beauty in all this chaos.

Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don’t try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way. James 1:2-4, MSG

What Do You Need to Try?

September 3, 2014 By: Angela Parlin

I think we’re born thinking one of two ways.

I can do whatever I decide to do.

–Or–

I can’t.

A couple weeks ago, I read Bob Goff’s wonderful book, Love Does. In the middle of one of his stories, Bob said,

“When you’re in high school, you don’t give much thought to what you can’t do.”

This wasn’t at all the point of his book. But I highlighted it, because in high school, and every other kind of school, I thought often about what I couldn’t do.

I missed out on trying things because I assumed I couldn’t do them. Rather, I couldn’t do them right (on the very first try), but that’s another issue.

I see these two trains of thought in my boys. One of them needs us to persuade him often, that He can. We’ve been cheering him on since long before he wouldn’t enter the pool as a toddler. We’ve pushed him down tall slides and required him to learn to ride a bike without training wheels, only forcing him to get on or in when we knew it was in his best interest.

When he learned he could do it each time, he was surprised and thrilled. I think he’s growing out of the I can’ts, because he’s taking on all sorts of new challenges with confidence these days.

On the other hand, another of our boys is certain he’s going to rock the World Cup one day. Or anything else he decides to do. If he needs to improve, he’ll just practice more. It never occurs to him he might not pull it off. I can’t only comes out to play when schoolwork includes an exceptional amount of handwriting. Other than that, he doesn’t think about what he can’t do.

When I was young, I dreamed of painting, among other things. But I thought I needed some special talent. I thought I should do it well, right from the start, or it would be a waste–or I would be a failure. That was too much pressure. I hated to fail back then.

So I never tried.

Then we studied the late Grandma Moses as part of our Art curriculum. And up from the grave, this spunky little woman ignited a fire in me. She began painting in her late 70’s and created beautiful works of art for the rest of her life.

I poured myself into awakening the art within my children. But then realized, there was art to awaken in me.

It was my turn to stop holding myself back. A neighbor invited me to a painting class, so at three and a half decades, I first brushed color to canvas. I became an artist who practiced her art, wondering how I ever lived without all this color and creativity. It was love at first try.

And now every time I paint on my own or with others, I hear it.

I can. I really can.

It’s never too late to try something new. What have you always wanted to try? What have you always wanted to learn and do? Make a plan to do it now. This fall. 2014.

Because you can. You really can.