{She Speaks, Part 1}
In the heat of July, I headed down the road to Charlotte for the She Speaks Conference. I was beyond excited. I would be meeting up with a bunch of online friends (who turned out to be such a gift!). I would listen to inspiring speakers, take time out for a massage, meet favorite authors, and hear myself think.
I also looked forward to the Prayer Room–a small, quiet, spa-like space where conference organizers place each woman’s name near one of 21 names of God ~ wherever the Spirit leads.
Each woman who attends She Speaks should find her name there and know she’s been prayed for. But this year, my name was not there.
You might think I simply didn’t find it, in the midst of 700 names. But with editor’s eyes, I read every name 4 times. My name was not there.
I don’t understand, Lord…I know You’re here…why would you let them forget me?
I sat down and wrote about being overlooked. Familiar words.
Words about a shy middle child sandwiched between sisters who were Unforgettable and Amazing. About not being chosen when all of my friends were. About people forgetting my name or being left off the invitation list. In the grand scheme of my life, it may not have been true. But there was a definite whisper through my days, that I was just forgettable.
Years ago, I filled out a Bible study, and this question came up about labels. I didn’t have to think, it just came: Forgettable. I quickly “handed it over to God”. Who wants to linger longer in that yuck? I like to speed past, be done with it. But apparently I wasn’t.
Because I entered this safe place as a grown-up, and it validated the old whispers. I sat there, writing fragments, and when I had no more words, I stopped to listen.
Every one of these names of God are yours. EVERY ONE, meant for you.
I hesitated to write it down. Because my personal experience said something else. And yet, this whisper was louder, and it was true.
God had not forgotten me.
God has never forgotten me.
When the enemy whispered, You are forgettable, he was really saying this–If people love you, if they remember you, then you are good. But if they don’t? Then you are just forgettable, not good enough. You are not like all these friends and sisters of yours.
The enemy wanted me wounded, stuck in the world of forgettable little girls, wondering why God made me this way, wondering if I could really trust God.
He wanted me worried about me. Because then who was I thinking about? Me. And then I would strive to prove my worthiness, somehow. Then, I would take my eyes off the gospel of Jesus completely.
So I didn’t find my name there this year, in the Prayer Room at She Speaks. But something far better happened. The Lord made me aware of debris left behind, a lie I believed and a label I accepted.
In my next post, I’ll tell you what happened the next day.
But for now, what labels were you given as a child? Or a teenager? Or a grown-up? Did they make you want to strive, to prove you could be more?
Beautiful!! You are sooo not forgettable!! I love you!!! But, I also love what God is teaching you. Thank you for sharing it.
Thanks Shan…love you much!
Beautiful!! You are sooo not forgettable!! I love you!!! But, I also love what God is teaching you. Thank you for sharing it.
Thanks Shan…love you much!
Oh, Ang, that was so well said. We all pick up labels and listen to lies. BUT GOD. He tells us the truth of our great worth. You are more precious than gold, daughter of the King. Thanks for being vulnerable and sharing this wonderful lesson.
Such a beautiful truth…Signed, a daughter of the King! 🙂
Angela, forgettable is not a word I would have ever used to describe you. You cannot imagine how many times, in school, I looked at you and thought how beautiful you were, not only physically, but also your heart. I, too, have always struggled in this same area and asked God “why” so many times. The older I’ve gotten, it hasn’t gotten any easier. I really needed to hear this today. Thank you so much, Ang, for sharing this!
Oh, Ang, that was so well said. We all pick up labels and listen to lies. BUT GOD. He tells us the truth of our great worth. You are more precious than gold, daughter of the King. Thanks for being vulnerable and sharing this wonderful lesson.
Such a beautiful truth…Signed, a daughter of the King! 🙂
Angela, forgettable is not a word I would have ever used to describe you. You cannot imagine how many times, in school, I looked at you and thought how beautiful you were, not only physically, but also your heart. I, too, have always struggled in this same area and asked God “why” so many times. The older I’ve gotten, it hasn’t gotten any easier. I really needed to hear this today. Thank you so much, Ang, for sharing this!
I know, Beck…I think you and I were always similar in this way. We had the same false mirrors. 🙁 But it was always easy for me to see what an amazing and beautiful person He made in YOU! If you are interested, I read a book this summer called “You’re Already Amazing” by Holley Gerth. It was a Godsend, and I have recommended it to lots of friends… Thanks for the comment!
I will definitely look into that book, Ang! Thanks again!!!
I know, Beck…I think you and I were always similar in this way. We had the same false mirrors. 🙁 But it was always easy for me to see what an amazing and beautiful person He made in YOU! If you are interested, I read a book this summer called “You’re Already Amazing” by Holley Gerth. It was a Godsend, and I have recommended it to lots of friends… Thanks for the comment!
I will definitely look into that book, Ang! Thanks again!!!
Ang, that was a wonderful article. It is amazing how we listen to the lies of the devil. Unfortunately, we have to deal with these daily or they become part of our makeup. I would never think of you as unforgettable but REMARKABLE!
Ang, that was a wonderful article. It is amazing how we listen to the lies of the devil. Unfortunately, we have to deal with these daily or they become part of our makeup. I would never think of you as unforgettable but REMARKABLE!