He turned 10, and I decided the family photos needed new homes. So I slipped pieces of our story out of sleeves and reseated them in stronger albums. Which reminded me, we’ve done some things well.
We’ve seized days and lived them to happy exhaustion. We’ve thrown parties and enjoyed friends and taken trips and played hard.
Sometimes I forget this on the in-between days. I read a blog and see some fabulous thing others are doing and think, Oh no! We haven’t done that! (Our kids will be ruined…) Of course, we have done our things, and so it’s good to remember.
But after we celebrated this double-digit birthday, I mourned a little, because we’ve come this far.
Of the time we *expect* to get to keep this big boy at home–with us–we’ve lived over half already. I thought it was hard to say goodbye to the little bed and little pants and little blankies he carried around. So imagining him over halfway launched was horrible.
It hit me in the pit of my stomach.
A whole decade has passed since I became a Mom. It’s been amazing and heartwrenching and glorious, but oh…
I wish I had done some things differently.
Do you ever think about that? What would you do differently, if you could have a do-over?
I’ve been too consumed with the details, stressed far too much over the house, and believed all the things are up to me.
I would let go of all that. I would put fewer to-do’s on my lists.
Far more often, I would be patient. I would hurry them less. I would smile more–especially in the morning.
I would spend more time outside with them. We would take more walks. Share more laughs. Have more spontaneous conversations where I would listen more.
It sounds ideal, right? The problem is, I don’t feel capable of it all. It would require more of me, and some days, I don’t care to be ideal…I just want to make it to bedtime.
Those days are simply part of being a Mom, or being human. I am beginning to accept them.
Instead of feeling discouraged when the days of our lives fall short of ideal, maybe we resolve to get back up {when possible} and seize every great opportunity we can–every chance we get. Not only the picture-worthy opportunities, but those that happen around the table, in the hallway, or playing in the yard.
One day, all my kids will fly this nest. I hope I’ll organize photographs and celebrate a great number of days we fully lived.
What about you, what would you change if you could take the years back?
Oh yes. I would love to change some things. But that would require me to be in a different place than I was. I would need to be as wise and dependent on the Spirit of God as I am today, 30 years later. So, like you, I have learned to take the great with the good and the not so good and ask the Lord to bless this mess we call life. To be glorified in our lives in spite of me. 🙂
Well, Pam, looking at how your daughters have turned out, I would say you and your husband did something very right. Obviously God and His grace were a big part of that, but I think you should be proud (as I know you are).
God is good…of this, I am certain. Thanks for the comment, Nathan!
Oh yes. I would love to change some things. But that would require me to be in a different place than I was. I would need to be as wise and dependent on the Spirit of God as I am today, 30 years later. So, like you, I have learned to take the great with the good and the not so good and ask the Lord to bless this mess we call life. To be glorified in our lives in spite of me. 🙂
Well, Pam, looking at how your daughters have turned out, I would say you and your husband did something very right. Obviously God and His grace were a big part of that, but I think you should be proud (as I know you are).
God is good…of this, I am certain. Thanks for the comment, Nathan!
I love that: Ask the Lord to bless this mess we call life! 🙂
I love that: Ask the Lord to bless this mess we call life! 🙂
I love this line: “Instead of feeling discouraged when the days of our lives fall short of ideal, maybe we resolve to get back up {when possible} and seize every great opportunity we can–every chance we get.” Yes!
Thank you, Holley!
I love this line: “Instead of feeling discouraged when the days of our lives fall short of ideal, maybe we resolve to get back up {when possible} and seize every great opportunity we can–every chance we get.” Yes!